Science

Some quick facts about cats

You either love them or you hate them. And sometimes you can love them and hate them at the same time. Especially when you’re working at your computer and the cats sits down on the keyboard and erases all your hard work. Or it jumps onto your lap but can’t quite manage it, so grips your legs, or even worse, your private regions, with its tiny razor sharp claws, causing you to scream and throw your freshly-made and hard-earned cup of coffee across the room.
  • However, you can take some satisfaction in knowing almost four million cats are eaten in China every year:

    Yep, kid you not. There are countries around the world that think nothing of nibbling on a bit of cat food. And, that’s food made of cat, rather than food for cats. Because that would be disgusting. In Korea, cat meat is boiled into a tonic and treats arthritis. Although you do end up licking yourself, purring, and crapping in your child’s sand pit.

  •  Cats don’t have a sweet tooth in their bodies: 

    Although you can grind them down into a paste and apply them to your head as a cure for baldness. But, nope, they don’t crave chocolate like us, or dogs, who do have a sweet tooth.

  • There are over half a billion domestic cats on the planet:

    However, that number seems to be decreasing in China for some reason. The stats go up if you visit crazy-cat-lady who lives at the bottom of my street. She has twenty four cats living in her house. And a dog and a goat. Not sure why she’s got the dog and goat, if I’m honest. I find it all a bit strange. But I am waiting to hear if she swallowed the fly, the spider, and the bird. And that would be absurd if she swallowed the bird. But I’m guessing the cats, dog and goat will be next on her hit list. Although, saying that, it does take twenty four cat skins to make a coat. So, come winter, we may have less cats in the neighbourhood, and one very warm woman walking to the shops every day.

  • Cats catch rats. Yes, indeedy doody:

    These little feline creatures are actually useful. Dogs can help blind people cross the road, fetch the paper, and hump your leg. Cats, on the other hand, generally do sod all, except sleep, screech, lick themselves or lick you, especially when you’re trying to do something and don’t want cat tongue on your eyeball. But they do have some uses. They act as an alarm clock. Usually in the middle of the night, or early on a Sunday morning when you want to sleep in.

  They also catch mice and rats and the odd bird. Sometimes, they’ll bring it inside and present it to you as a gift. Pope Innocent VIII condemned all cats as evil. During the Spanish Inquisition, which no one expects, he ordered tens of thousands of cats burned with steaks. Or on stakes. He didn’t take into account the resulting increase, by a lot, of the rat population, and the significant impact that would have on the Black Death.

  • A cat can jump five times its height:

    But there are cats who have gone higher. In fact, all the way to space. Yes, that cat is totally spaced, dude. In 1963, the French Space Agency decided it would be a good idea to launch a cat into space. The cat was called Felicetti, which means Astrocat in English. It was implanted with electrodes and the signals from its brain were analysed. They discovered cats enjoy chasing a bit of string and rubbing against you to mark its territory (Yep, I rub you, you’re mine. That chair is mine. That laptop is mine. The bed is mine. The floor is mine. EVERYTHING IS MINE).

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